Hello friends. I am here to talk about how to heal from your trauma on your own. First of all, I found out for myself that a lot of my childhood wounds and experiences were getting in the way of the business transformation that I wanted to experience, the wealth that I wanted to generate, and the joy that I wanted to feel and as I started doing more and more consulting work, I realized that it wasn’t just me, that every single one of my clients had wounds and trauma and things that were holding them back from their fullest expression in business.
I found that my clients were struggling with feelings of worthiness, of lack of safety and expression, of fear, all of these things came from some sort of trauma or wounding and when we were able to work through these things, all of a sudden new possibilities opened up for us in the business.
Now, I want to be clear that what I’m talking about here doesn’t necessarily replace therapy if it’s needed. I’m not talking about healing deep-seated PTSD trauma that’s causing massive issues in your life.
I am talking about the things that are getting in the way of your fullest expression that you can become more empowered around those things, that you can take charge of your own healing, you can manage and grow on your own without a whole lot of support, especially if you can’t or don’t have that availability of that support.
What I am talking about is a way to heal from the trauma that’s worked for me and that’s worked for many of my clients.
5 Easy steps to heal from trauma
1. Determine The Source Of Trauma
So, the first step that I want to share with you is what I call discover. Discover is where we become aware of what is going on, of what the trauma even is.
We become aware of where it possibly even comes from, although we don’t actually have to know exactly what happened or where it comes from to heal it. But we do have to discover the pattern that’s showing up currently in our lives.
When I talk about what the pattern is, what I’m looking for is – what are the triggers and what happens to you. What is the thing that you don’t want to experience anymore?
So for example, if you find that you’re always getting into an argument with a particular person, let’s say it’s a particular client and right now, up until now perhaps you’ve blamed it on that person, you’ve blamed it on the client.
What I want you to do in the season of discover and the stage of this discover stage is to turn it around and say all right, what if it isn’t you? What if you are just poking a wound in me? Where is that wound from, for example, if you have somebody that says something a certain way and you get upset by it, it feels disrespectful, right?
Turn it around and say all right, what in me is feeling disrespected and when have I felt this before and really looking back and seeing when did this feeling of being disrespected start? When did it first start to matter to me to feel respected, right?
So really digging into the feelings that you feel and what’s going on and from that place, asking too what’s it costing me to have this reaction when I feel disrespected. Is it costing me the relationship with this person? Is it costing us the intimacy that we could have?
So really in a season, in the stage of discover, it’s looking at what’s happening in me rather than blaming it on something outside and paying attention to what that’s costing you.
Looking for the patterns, looking for potential sources of this issue.
2. Transform your feelings to heal from trauma
The second thing to heal from trauma is this concept of transformation. Transforming what’s happening into something else. So, what that requires first and foremost is to feel the feelings that you feel.
One of the biggest problems that I find that I’ve faced and that I see my clients facing is the resistance to the feelings, to the not wanting to feel the feelings that are there and pushing them down and even covering them up with other things like food or alcohol or drugs or shopping or gambling or whatever it may be. Maybe all of the above.
And so that often requires us to feel feelings that we’re really uncomfortable with, feelings like shame or guilt or anger.
So like for example, I have a client, had a client who had a really hard time when she would get angry. She would suppress it and she wouldn’t feel it and we discovered as we were discovering, as we were digging into her past, we discovered that she had a father that was a rager and so when he would rage, she would go small and she never wanted to be like him and so she made it not okay to ever feel anger.
But it’s impossible for a human being not to feel anger, it’s on the spectrum of emotions. It’s part of being human so when we suppress that, other problems pop up, right?
So notice, by the way in this stage, what feelings are off-limits to you? Feelings that are off-limits, feelings that you are not willing to feel like anger or rage or shame or whatever it is are often a clue into areas of wounding back from childhood.
So, recognizing and then transforming by feeling it. I have a mentor who calls it alchemy.
Alchemy is the feeling of the feelings and the converting of those feelings into something positive. So, when we can fully feel the anger and the rage and let it move all the way through us in a safe way, not directed at somebody, not hurting somebody but in a safe way into a pillow or into a towel or something like that, we can feel it.
Usually, once we felt it and it’s moved through, on the other side is a new possibility of letting go, of forgiving, of releasing.
3. See from a new perspective to heal from trauma
The third thing is to take on from that place of having moved it through is there a new perspective here? Is there another way to look at this trauma, look at this experience?
Can my client for example, could she look at the experience of growing up with her rage or father and perhaps see it as a gift, as a way of developing her own empathy and her own compassion? Can she find the gifts, the fruits of having experienced that trauma or that wounding?
So whatever the trauma or the wounding is, just from a purely intellectual perspective, you might not feel it yet but can you perceive that there are gifts from the experience.
4. Create A Ritual For Healing
Once you’re able to do that intellectually, I encourage you to take the opportunity to perhaps create a little ritual for yourself to let it go. In a ritual format, in a way that’s intentional to create some sort of experience of officially, formally, letting it go. I release this.
It might be writing it all down on a journal piece of paper and then lighting it on fire or dumping it in the trash can ceremoniously or ripping it to shreds or cutting it into pieces.
If there’s a way that you can transform it physically and alchemize it physically, it’s a way to also transform it and alchemize it in your person, in your embodied experience.
Once you’ve been able to let it go in that way, then are you able to bring forgiveness into your heart? Can you truly forgive the person or the experience or yourself, whatever it was, and let it go but go one step even beyond letting it go and actually forgiving and then taking it even one step further and actually blessing it?
Can you bless the experience? Could you bless the person who wronged you? Can you bless them not because it’s okay what they did or what happened but because it led you here to this place of having been able to alchemize and now turning it into something positive?
My mentor talks about blessing the fruits of the season and looking at everything as fruits of the season. What if everything was a harvest? What if everything “good or bad” was part of the plan, it was part of the big picture? If you could trust that everything happened for you, what would it look like if you could bless all of it, and that leads to the final step of how to heal from trauma.
5. Be Grateful For Your Experiences
Can you literally say thank you that this happened to me? Thank you for this experience, thank you for giving me the gift of compassion or empathy or empowerment or strength as a result of having been through this experience.
Those are the steps that I recommend embarking on if you want to heal your own trauma.
If this article was helpful for you, interesting for you then please share it with your friends and family. Happy healing!